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About Deviant Alyssa PinkertFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Alyssa Pinkert
United States
Hello fellow piers,

my name: Alyssa Gail Pinkert
other name: llama queen (though no ones called me that since 6th grade)
stuff about me:
I am a Doctor Who fanatic, new found pewdiepie fan, school smart, choir nerd, ceramic painter, cat lover, beginner drawer, horror movie lover, camping favoriter, atheist, lover of art, unable to sleep deliberately, also unable to sleep past 10:00 am, dislike dogs but will tolerate them, and one cool fact I cannot go to sleep without a perfect pattern of noise. Cans: rain falling, birds chirping, songs I know that are new country only, cluttered speech or many people talking at the same volume at the same time causing that sort of organized hum, circular back scratching, etc. Can'ts: thunder, vacuum, television, noise of one shouting in COD, screaming, cat meowing, dog barking, cars driving, animals scratching in the attic, AC humming, any annoying noise, etc.
Fears I have include: aliens, wild animals like bears or raccoon, standing near tall buildings or mountains (more than 5/6 stories), ghosts (which doubles as a fascination), taxidermy, dead bodies like at funerals, realistic wax figures, being left in public alone, leaving my face, head, hands, or feet uncovered while I sleep, open closets while I sleep, mirrors, dark places, house intruders, insects in my ears or nose or any opening I guess, being naked (shut up), closing my eyes in the shower and hearing noises while in the shower, finding something dead, seeing something suffer, life size pictures of people that are permanent like hung up on my wall or in my house, being alone for too long, having to sleep with no one in the house (which I then get majorly paranoid and never sleep), being left alone with someone I don't know, I can go further but I won't so if you want more--I'm not sure why you would--I will tell you and if you would like to I would enjoy seeing pictures of my fears done by someone in an exaggerated way... (shut up)
I have two cats, three dogs, a chinchilla, an older brother by two years, step brother and sister younger than me (their mom is with my dad but they are not married and we all live together in a shitty house we rent expensively), parents are divorced and have been since I was eight, lived in East Troy since I turned 7, have a 3.0 average, and am too tired to finish this... Good Day!
You ever go to your friends looking for emotional help? When I get too frustrated with how my life is going, I go to someone and try to confide in them. What do they do? Interrupt me to tell me about how much their life sucks more. I have helped them to the best of my ability in so many situations when they come to me, and they can't just listen to me once? How the fuck is that fair?? Who do I get to go to to talk to? Who is there that'll listen to me without twisting everything around and making me listen to them instead? I have problems, too; and even more than I need them solved, I need someone to listen to them. If you're reading this: I don't care about listening to your issues and helping you get through them, in fact, I love solving problems and sewing broken strings, and I love that you trust me enough to confide in me. But when I come to you, asking you to help me fix myself, don't fuck me over and make it everything about yourself. You had your time to talk and you'll take even more. But soon, it will have to be my turn or we risk losing something truly great.
Speaking of stupid friends and not being perfect...
You ever look for new friends, and no one wants you because you don't do something to their liking? One of my friends left me because I wasn't in cheer. One of my friends left me because I didn't go out enough in the summer. Another one left me because I wouldn't doll myself up with makeup and I wouldn't die my hair. Once, one left my because I refused to get a boyfriend. Way early on, my best friend left me because I didn't go to her birthday party. And you know what those people do later on? Ruin your life by turning everybody that they know against you. No one wants me now because I'm too loud with my friends and 'cause I don't talk to their friends from out of town that I don't know. They don't want me because there is nothing "special" about me that's to their liking, like being a cheerleader, being an artist, or being a party animal. News flash: I don't want to be those things because those things aren't ME. Don't judge me for just trying to be me. I'm never going to join a sport. I'm never going to like watching romance movies. I will never enjoy reading twilight. I'm never going to enjoy being at dances. And I am definitely never going to get a boyfriend merely for the purpose of having one. I'm never going to be what you want me to be. All I will ever be is me. THAT's why I'm special, but that is also why no one wants me.
What's wrong with asking for help from people that you've helped for a lifetime?
What's wrong with wanting to have someone listen?
What's wrong with wanting friends who appreciate you?
What's wrong with doing something that is the right thing to be done?
What's wrong with not wanting to do something that doesn't have to be done?
What's wrong with trying to be me?
What's wrong with wanting so little after so much?

Fuck it, no one is going to read this. No one cares about caring old me. What makes me so great? Why can't all this stupid shit just be over for me already? I just want a chance to live, too.
  • Listening to: lonely silence
  • Reading: lies
  • Watching: the fan turn
  • Playing: through my memories
  • Eating: up my sadness
  • Drinking: drowning is more like it

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ForkTheMighty Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you so much for the fave!!!
llamastarQ Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013
You're very welcome!
llamastarQ Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
BabyDwagon755 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you for the fav!! :squee:
llamastarQ Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012
No problemo
star3catcher Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012
Smushfaace Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fave!! :heart:
FuckFakePpl Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for faving my digital painting! :D
hiramiInuzuka Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2011
kaylaandstuffyay Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2011  Student General Artist
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